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The new and improved "Golden Rule"

In a class I attended real estate trainer Howard Brinton said that the biggest problem in our society is that we look at the world through our own set of sunglasses and expect others to see the world as we see it. The Golden Rule that has been ingrained in us for centuries "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" assumes we should treat others as we want them to treat us.  This assumes others want to be treated as we want to be treated.

Howard went on to say this should be our new "Golden Rule"

"Do unto others as they would have us do unto them"

He went on to say that instead of us thinking that everyone wants to be treated as we want to be treated lets try to find out what people value and what is important to them.  For example, there are many differences in religions, cultures, regional differences, etc.

Start to see Howard's point?  Would you say to a client "Joe liked my website and liked using it to find a home so you should too?"  Of course not, we ask questions and see if someone embraces technology or if they simply want to get in the car and look at homes.

There have been many ways to find out what a person values like the F.O.R.D program which focuses on FAMILY, OCCUPATION, RECREATION and DREAMS.  It really doesn't matter what we use to communicate with people as long as we communicate with them and find out what THEY VALUE and what is important to them.

This applies to our family, friends, co-workers and our customers/clients.  Use this new Golden Rule that will improve all of our  relationships.

 

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Comment balloon 36 commentsGeorge Tallabas • April 29 2007 08:39AM

Comments

Excellent perspective. It bets the other golden rule - He has the gold makes the rules. Thanks.
Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Gary...have a great day
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

Good though about finding what others value and valuing that as well.  It show respect and makes what we are doing relevant.  

kk 

Posted by Kristal Kraft, Selling Metro Denver Real Estate - 303-589-2022 (The Berkshire Group Realtors) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Kristal for stopping by this Sunday morning :-)
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
eehhh, I think this another example of political correctness gone awry! The Golden rule in it's truest meaning doesn't say anywhere to treat someone a Specific way. All it does is point out to people to to treat others with things like respect, love and honesty! What more could you want or ask for. I'm not a fan of twisting things around to be viewed differently. Take it for what it is and don't make mountains out of molehills! Sorry George!
Posted by Danny Smith (DISCOVER TEXAS HOMES) almost 12 years ago
George this is certainly true people are not all alike; having two children I know this is so true both children were rather different and what worked with one did not work with the other.  This should also apply to consumers; it is important that we listen and find out their needs and how they wish to communicate with us.  I like the example you used, not everyone has embraced technology so if we try to force it on someone who is not into it we will lose a prospective client.
Posted by Jennifer Fivelsdal, Mid Hudson Valley real estate connection ( JFIVE Home Realty LLC | 845-758-6842|162 Deer Run Rd Red Hook NY 12571) almost 12 years ago
Aaah, a small but important twist!  I'm sure this can make all the difference.  Very good, George!!  :o)
Posted by Sarah Cooper (Real Estate Shows) almost 12 years ago
Thanks Danny
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

Thank you very much Jennifer....Have a great day

Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Sarah....I appreciate your feedback.  Have a wonderful Sunday
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

Hearing the value and knowing the value are  two different things as we all know.

Posted by Vicky Carlton, Comey & Shepherd, Auctioneer - Greater Cincinnati almost 12 years ago
Thank you Vicky
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
This is so true. I often find myself not really probing to see what there values and motivations are.
Posted by Colorado Springs Real Estate almost 12 years ago
Good for you Dan...you are on the right track my friend
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Probing won't determine their values.  The only way to determine peoples values is to ask questions.  "What do you mean by that" goes a long way.  But, I have to agree with Danny- if you aren't already on the customer's agenda, you probably should be doing something else!
Posted by Laurie Mindnich almost 12 years ago
Thank you Laurie
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

I'v heard this before, George, but it's a great reminder about keeping in mind what is important and of value to others. Thanks you for sharing this - a good thing to read on this early (and scheduled to be busy) Sunday morning!

Jeff

Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) almost 12 years ago
Very true. Thanks for the valuable perspective.
Posted by Jeff Fulgham, Broker E-Pro ABR (T.U.P. Realty) almost 12 years ago
Thank you very much Jeff. If we don't ask the right questions we cannot know what someone values and what they need from us.  Howard was very right and he said this way back in 1997.  Thank you and have a great day.
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Thanks Jeff F.  I appeciate all of you Jeffs...LOL
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

George....  some very valid points. Basically from what you mentioned is how I work with each and every client. Asking them questions on their thoughts and opinions, besides asking their goals. Because as you stated, everyone else might look at it differently.

And Danny Smith makes a great point also....  even though many people will have different views, I am not going to flip flop per se, just to get another client. I will alter my thoughts and or opinions sometimes tailored to a different type of client, but keeping it within my beliefs, morals, and how I do business. I won't woo a client with something that I actually disagree about, just to get them to go with me.

Hopefully I didn't get off topic. Even though it's Sunday morning, my brain needs to wake up. ;o)  Good post.

                                                                                                            jeff belonger

Posted by Jeff Belonger, The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans ( Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc) almost 12 years ago

George, Good points. I can see Danny's point. Sometimes when you encouner people who have there own rules like " Do unto others before they do unto You " you can be a little jaded.

Howards point as you put forward was to " Find the value settings of your potential client and work off of that premise." Obviously as Jeff points out if there value settings do not match yours then move on.

Posted by Herb Hamilton, Real Estate Broker ,CDPE, Downtown Portland (RE/MAX Preferred Inc. Realtors) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Jeff....have a great day and I appreciate your feedback
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Thanks Herb....I didn't want to make it so complex my friend.  My simple point is that not everyone wants to be treated the way "We Think" they should be treated. Everyone I know wants to be valued and the only way we can value each individual is to treat them in a way that respects each individuals value system the way want to be valued.
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Great conversation going on here.  Making sure that you can be congruent with your client is important.  You do not have to compromise your values, but there needs to be a sense of congruency.  It is a relationship and I agree that we need to find out how the client would like to be treated and see if it works with our own style as well.  You are right, George, it is a simple point.
Posted by Valerie Baldwin, Harvey, Gresham Oregon Real Estate (John L. Scott Sandy) almost 12 years ago
Definitely a good "new & improved" version. You make a worthwhile point.
Posted by Sue Argue, NH Home Stager (Staged First Impressions) almost 12 years ago
Thank you so much Valerie for understanding the simplicity of my point.  Have a great day!
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Sue...I hope you recieved my message.  I am proud of you that your post was featured on Localism :-)
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
George, how true! Excellent. As soon as our government starts to think along those same lines, perhaps we can start to have a peaceful world. Good post and especially good for a Sunday.
Posted by Gena Riede, Real Estate Broker - Sacramento CA Real Estate (916) 417-2699 (Riede Real Estate, Lic. 01310792) almost 12 years ago
Thank you so much Gena...I appreciate your support my friend.  It's gorgeous here in Idaho today and I hope it is in your neck of the woods.
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

Hi George,

You're right, this is really simple, listening with an empathetic ear, seeing through their eyes, and just getting an idea of how they feel, can go a long way in any relationship.  We don't have to change what we believe, just have respect for others. 

Thanks for bringing this up.

Doreen

eewwee, elderberry, AGAIN, is AR trying to tell me something?  ;^D    

 

Posted by Doreen McPherson, Phoenix Arizona Real Estate ~ (Homesmart ~ Scottsdale ~ Tempe) almost 12 years ago
Doreen...thank you so much.  You have really been a support to me and I appreciate it.
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
You are very welcome George.
Posted by Doreen McPherson, Phoenix Arizona Real Estate ~ (Homesmart ~ Scottsdale ~ Tempe) almost 12 years ago
Have a great evening and week ahead Doreen
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago
George - Good food for thought! Although I agree we should not change who we are to please others, we must be in tune with our clients and theirs needs. Each of us is different; when we respect the differences, we attract clients and friends. Best!
Posted by Paula Henry, Realtor - Indianapolis Real Estate - 317-605-4174 (Home to Indy Team @ HomeSmart Realty Group) almost 12 years ago
Thank you Paula...we just need to treat others as "THEY" want to be treated.  That is my point my friend.  Have a great evening.
Posted by George Tallabas, Idaho Real Estate (RE/MAX Advantage) almost 12 years ago

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